These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

I like the song white and nerdy, because I am white and nerdy.

Today was an interesting day. I walked my pet hamster and he bit me on the toe. Then I saw the coolest guy in Bellevue who lives on 63rd Street. He was walking his elephant and super cool dragon. Fortunately, he didn't see me, so I didn't have to bow down to him. I ran as fast as I could because it's just too hot near him...soooo very very hoot.

When I got home, I went on myspace because it's my fav. LOL. So ThEn I hAd LiKe the ToTaLlY aWeSoMest ShIrt oN. I SuRe HoPe liKe ThE gUy aCroSS tHe StrEet LiKe tOtaLLy nOTicEd liKe me. LOL. OMG.

Driving in my batmobile (not as cool as the v6 that one totally awesome guy has) I tried to conquer the world. But of course, was stopped by the forementioned awesome guy. I couldn't take the temperature around him and so I had to run...again. Now I know my destiny. I must follow the footsteps of the totally like awesome like cool guy.
Being in the hot atmosphere, provoked me to change into my boxer shorts. AHHH much better. Luckily for me, that guy that I mentioned before can also be very cool, so I didn't need to strip down all the way. Buuuut....I decided to do it anyways.

Guess what I did nexxxt? jfka;lf; j jkjd f   jkjfdksja j to kjdsajfl lke tyuwe swpot.  That's right! That's exactly what happened!! Ingenius. Doesn't the meaning of life become SOO much clearer after reading that? 42. *nods*

As I sat at home contemplating my being. I realized what an insignificant little speck I am in the world. According to Freud, reality is a figment of our imagination. My id has attacked my superego again. I can't seem to rid myself of this on going internal conflict. WHERE IS MY EGO?!

I'm in a mad mood.

To the world: viva revolution!!

Hello.
I'm in a mean mood today.
The End.